Learning How to Grieve a Miscarriage, Infant or Child Loss, or Stillbirth: Processing the Loss!

This is a new blog series on Learning How to Properly Grieve the Loss of your Miscarriage, Infant and Pregnancy Loss, Child loss, or Stillbirth.  We will tackle over the next 4 weeks; Processing the Loss, Journalling to Prayer and Praise, Finding Passion and Living Your Purpose.

This week we are tackling processing the loss.  First off, if you are reading this it is because you have recently lost your baby or have never properly grieved your loss.  Please remember there are no timetables for grief.  Losing a child by way of miscarriage, infant or pregnancy loss, child loss, or stillbirth is the most devastating and traumatic experience that a parent can go through.  A piece of you is missing and you are forever change.  

How do we begin to process our loss?  There is no right or wrong way to do so.  As I mentioned before grief has no timetable.  The question then becomes how to we process our loss to make it more manageable over time? 

First, there are no timetables for grief.  There is a quote that I post often to Instagram that “Grief is like the ocean, it comes in waves, ebbing and flowing.  Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming.  All we can do is learn to swim.”  What I love about this quote is that is we are all learning how to swim on this new wave of life. 

Secondly, grief cannot be avoided, ignored, or put away.  You must go through it in order to emerge on the other side.  As much as you may not be able to believe it now, your grief will shift and become less all-consuming as time goes by, and you will smile and find joy again.  But right now if you are reading this and wondering how do I process my loss, you must allow your heart, mind, and body to grieve.

Thirdly, grieving requires patience and acceptance.  Be gentle and patient with yourself and your family.  Allow yourself to cry, to grieve, and to retell stories as often as needed and for as long as you need to.  You will never forget your Angel baby; they will always be in your heart and memories for as long as you live.

Sister in Loss Action Items to Process the Loss:

  • Begin to Journal your Feelings.  Sometimes its easier to write and journal down what you are thinking and feeling rather than explaining them.
  • Seek therapy when you feel that your grief is becoming too difficult to bear.  I am available for coaching if you need someone to talk to.
  • Join the Sister’s In Loss FB Community and Support Group.  This is a group of women who will pray for you and encourage you through your loss and grief and healing journey.

Keep the Faith!
~Erica

How to Grieve your Pregnancy Loss