This is the second post in the series on Trying Again: I’m Pregnant Will my Body Fail me? Last week we discussed Making the Decision.
Congratulations! You are now pregnant and are ready to embark on another journey of bringing forth life. It can be very difficult journey of pregnancy if you are not ready to face fear, anxiety, and any other preconceived feelings of pregnancy after loss.
This is the last blog post on the Trying Again Series and this is about how you maybe feeling during a pregnancy after loss the Anxiety and Fear that comes with being pregnant.
Most women who become pregnant after experiencing miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death find themselves hit by a flood of different emotions when they first discover that they’re pregnant again. Below are some different emotions you maybe feeling throughout your pregnancy and how to deal with them.
Mixed Feelings - You are excited about the pregnancy, but deep down are like what was I thinking? Am I really ready for another pregnancy?
Hesitation and Detachment - Many parents who become pregnant again are afraid to allow themselves to become overly excited about their pregnancies, both because they are afraid of “jinxing” themselves by getting too attached to the pregnancy and because the’ve learned that there’s a world of difference between being pregnant and ending up with a healthy baby in your arms nine months down the road. I know I felt this way I had to sometimes emotionally detach myself and treat my pregnant with a we will see attitude. This is where the faith component comes in because I had to learn to trust God and have faith in him that he will give me the desires of my heart.
Anxiety concerning the timing of the pregnancy - Sometimes the timing of a pregnancy can cause for much anxiety, either because the new baby’s due date is very close to the due date of the baby who died, or because the parents aren’t ready for another pregnancy just yet. I remember when we got pregnant with Brielle, I was shocked and felt like it was too soon. It only had been 3-4 months after we loss our son BJ. At that time I knew I wasn’t ready for it and the possibility is that we could’ve had her close to BJ’s birth/death date. Having someone to talk to helped me through my anxiety throughout my pregnancy after losses and I highly recommend you to get a Grief Coach, Therapist, or Counselor.
Guilt - Sometimes we feel guilty for feeling happy about the new pregnancy. That guilt may come from not knowing how to grieve and experience joy at the same time.
Keep the Faith!