Learning How to Grieve a Miscarriage, Infant or Child Loss, or Stillbirth: Journaling to Prayer and Praise

This is the second week of the blog series on Learning How to Properly Grieve the Loss of your Miscarriage, Infant and Pregnancy Loss, Child loss, or Stillbirth.  Last week we tackled how to process the Loss today we are discussing how to Journaling to Prayer and Praise.

First off, if you are reading this it is because you have recently lost your baby or have never properly grieved your loss.  Please remember there are no timetables for grief.  Losing a child by way of miscarriage, infant or pregnancy loss, child loss, or stillbirth is the most devastating and traumatic experience that a parent can go through.  A piece of you is missing and you are forever changed.  

If there is one thing I would recommend for someone who is grieving, it is journaling. Keeping a grief journal helps with healing by providing an avenue to pour out your innermost pain and feelings.  That pain you write and pour out will lead to you a sense of comfort, ease, peace, and understanding that God did not leave you in your loss.

A grief journal helped me pour my heart out to God to ask "why" and "why me".  It also helped me turn my pain into prayer and praise because through the words I poured out on paper God revealed to me his purpose through my loss.

How do you begin to journal your feelings?

First, set aside a specific time to write.  Find a pen and a notebook and start writing.  If you are unsure what to write about, start with your name, the date, day, time of day, and where you are.  Start with Dear God and state how you feel.

Secondly, write about what is happening around you.  You can write about the history up until where you are in the exact moment.  Or you can break it down in small chunks of time.

Lastly, end each journal session on a positive note.  Pray and let God know through your writing what you are grateful for (Sunny Day, Life, Health, Smile, Kind Gesture from Stranger, etc..).   Close your journal and put it away until your next session.

Journaling is not easy for everyone.  So, for those of you who are stuck here are 3 suggestions for you to get out of writers blog.

First, just write it down, whatever is coming up for you, whatever you are stuck on.  Just write it down.  Even if you find yourself writing the same thing over and over again, that is OK.  You will begin to shift your grief.

Secondly, sometimes journaling can be challenging and difficult.  Stop where you are and come back to journaling at another time.

Lastly, sometimes it takes to empty your heart out on the page by getting in a quite place or near water.  For me whenever I am stuck I journal before bed and when I wake up.  These are the times my mind wonders the most and getting the thoughts out before bed leads to me having a more peaceful sleep.  Also, as soon as I wake up, writing out the thoughts of my dreams allows me to begin the day fresh.

Sister in Loss Action Items to Process the Loss:

  • Begin to Journal your Feelings.  Sometimes its easier to write and journal down what you are thinking and feeling rather than explaining them.
  • Seek therapy when you feel that your grief is becoming too difficult to bear.  I am available for coaching if you need someone to talk to.
  • Join the Sister’s In Loss FB Community and Support Group.  This is a group of women who will pray for you and encourage you through your loss and grief and healing journey.

Keep the Faith!