Happy Black History Month! After a quick Amazon search, I realized there aren't many black authors of books in this Grief and Pregnancy Loss Community. For the next 6 weeks on the podcast we are featuring 6 Books from Black Authors around Faith, Miscarriage, Stillbirth, Infant and Pregnancy Loss, and Hope to continue on this grief journey.
In today's episode we have Keanna Barnes who shares her Stillbirth story and Fibroid Journey. She is the author of Journey to Peace a 31 Day Devotional: Through the Grief of Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Other Pregnancy Loss. In this episode she shares her journey to getting pregnant with fibroids, how her miscarriage broke her heart into a million pieces, and her courage to try again and get pregnant with her current baby due in March 2018.
Nearly a year into their marriage, Keanna and her husband awere overcome with joy to find out we were pregnant! This was the first pregnancy for both of them so we were elated. Keanna went through all of the anticipation and nervousness that many first time mothers do. She struggled in trying not to google everything, she bought books, researched strollers, cribs, car seats, and every new baby gadget on the market. Keanna took prenatal yoga classes, aqua zumba, and she even hired a doula to help me through the pregnancy process. Even though she was very prepared, nothing could prepare her for what was to come. At her 27 week prenatal appointment, the nurse looked pretty alarmed when she saw her elevated blood pressure reading. Keanna assured her that it was because she just left work, but after they checked a second time, the nurse had her lie down while she waited for the doctor. Once the doctor was informed of her blood pressure, they insisted that she immediately go to the hospital. Before they ushered her out they wanted to check the baby’s heartbeat. As they rolled the Doppler over her stomach, Keanna's husband joked that their son was hiding from us. They searched and searched. Nothing. Keanna could feel her heart racing and her body getting hot because she knew that there was nowhere for her child to hide. This was the day that Keanna's heart was broken into a million pieces. By the grace of God, Keanna is still finding her own peace with what happened. In that peace, they were blessed to conceive for the second time and they are due in March 2018. Trying again was not an easy decision and neither is the road as the mother of an angel baby. This journey has brought my husband and I closer together and my 1st born son has taught me so much and I am grateful to God for him.